People want to be seen, noticed, acknowledged. I do not always think it is a bad thing, I think that it is just human nature but sometimes the NEED to feel seen or acknowledged or noticed can become very un healthy and that is when it becomes dangerous. Too much of anything is bad for you right? ( well most times yes )
I can only speak for myself here but the internet has made it pretty hard to not focus on being noticed or seen. It has actually become the very essence of why it exists, it plays on our human nature’s need of wanting others to acknowledge and like us. Like I said it does not have to be a bad thing, in fact if you you don’t let your emotions take over social media and the internet can be the best thing because it is the opportunity of having a platform to inspire or to be inspired by others.
How do you know you have an unhealthy obsession to be seen or heard?
1: When your validation and value is coming from other people:
As nice as it is to have someone compliment you on your outfit, tell you how amazing you did in a project at work or what ever it may be. If your confidence is going to lie in the opinions of others it is going to be very hard to grasp who you really are. Peoples minds and opinions change all the time, therefore what other people say about you is irrelevant. Now I am not saying disregard what people say, what I am saying is you have the power to sift out what it is you believe about yourself. If it is negative feedback and not encouraging I do not believe that is from God and I do not believe that God wants you to take that thought on and attach it to your identity.
HOW CAN YOU OVERCOME THIS?
Trust me I know it is not easy, for most of my life up until probably the beginning of last year I came to the realisation that the only opinion I need to value truly is from God. The amazing thing about God is that he can speak to you in so many ways, like through other people so that is why I say do not disregard all together what others say to you but if you do not know the true heart of God it will be hard to know when people have the right intentions when they are speaking into your life.
Just know this, that God is for you, He loves you, he actually likes you and wants the best for you. He wants you to grow and own it in life. So when somebody comes to me and wants to say something over my life and it doesn’t reflect any of those things then I choose not to take that as a holding thought in my mind and I just tell the devil NOT TODAY I am chosen and God does see me.
2: When you start comparing your journey to others around you:
It is easy to go on social media and scroll through other peoples feeds and see their lives flourishing based on pictures they decide and very carefully pick to put up and think to yourself that your life is not that great. You see how many likes they got on their picture and you suddenly feel that underlying pressure to get more likes on your next picture. Why is that? It is again that need to want to be seen or validated.
HOW CAN YOU OVERCOME THIS?
When I came to the realisation that the internet and social media is not real life and it is just a highlight reel suddenly you see it so much differently and your perspective begins to shift. The tunnel vision I once had, became a lot wider and I could see it for what it is. For a long time I could not watch any vlogs from people I loved because I would just feel so bad after because I would be watching it from the point of view of ” look at their life and how great it is, and look at my life and how boring it is. ” I would feel so demotivated. Until I realised that I was comparing my life to someone I did not know personally and realised that they too are human and have challenges and bad days. Now, I love watching vlogs from my favorite bloggers Inthefrow, Sazan Hendrix, Louise Roe, Le’chelle Taylor, Jess and Gabriel and many more. I decided to watch them from a different perspective, one of being inspired by them, learning from them and cheering them on from the comfort of my home.
What I am hoping that you get out of this today is that You are seen, you are special, you are noticed and the best part of it all it is not by people it is by God himself. The one who made you, the one who knows you to your very core. Let that be the voice that guides you throw life. Let that be the voice you listen to about your identity. Ask God to give you the wisdom to know when he is using others to speak through them into your life. I challenge you to change your perspective to one that is upward focused TO GOD instead of sideward focused TO OTHERS.
What other things have you struggled with when it comes to this topic and how did you overcome it? Let me know in the comments section. Lets be there for each other.