Over the span of my life and sadly having many friendships fail, I feel like I have some insight into knowing how to choose the right friends. The friends that will take you forward in life, the friends that will cheer you on, the friends that you can do life with and not just for a short season.
I know that when we get hurt from certain relationships it can cause us to draw back and isolate ourselves because we want to protect ourselves from getting hurt again. I believe this to be one of the biggest lies we can have in life. We need community and we need people in our lives, the enemy would love us to think that we are just fine on our own and yes a bit of alone time is bliss but it should not be a state of being that we settle into.
Below are a few things that I have started looking for in my friendships going forward and I hope that it can help you on the journey of relationships. If you only remember 1 thing I have said today let it be this ” sometimes your circle decreases in size but increases in value ”
1: FRIENDS THAT WANT TO SEE YOU GROW
Surround yourself with friends who will tell you the truth in love, even when it might be hard to hear. having friends that are there to help see you grow in life is a blessing and hard to find, so when you do find it hold on tight.
2. FRIENDS WHO PUT GOD FIRST
Surround yourself with friends who care more about Gods opinion than your opinion. A friend that is willing to listen to the holy spirit above anything else is a keeper. Sometimes when life gets hard it is easier to find that friend that is there to justify everything you are feeling and possibly with out even realizing they are just adding salt to the wound by making you feel worse about your situation.
3. FRIENDS THAT ARE WILLING TO DIG DEEP
Surround yourself with friends who are willing to have those deep conversations with you. Yes, there is a time for fun and laughter and just talking no sense but there are also times when we need to dig deep. Do your friends care enough to go deeper with you when life is not going too peachy? Finding that friend that will speak life into a dead situation is like finding Gold in a hidden treasure chest.
4. FRIENDS THAT ARE INCLUSIVE
Surround yourself with friends that are inclusive. People can be clicky and without even realising it, you have a girl gang or a wolf pack. Other others feel intimidated to come and talk to you. Are your friends like that? Now I am not saying it is bad to have to people that you just connect with and want to spend your time with but it is when we are in public, are we willing to step out of our shells and let others in. There shouldn’t be and ” circles” or “clicks” in the family of God.
5. FRIENDS THAT HAVE VISION
Surround yourself with friends who have a vision for their own lives. If they see a purpose to their life, they will not let you give up when you want to because they see the potential on your life and that God as a purpose for you. I do not think I would be where I am today if it wasn’t for people to believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. When you surround your self with people who are outward focused life starts to look a bit greener.
6. FRIENDS THAT ARE POSITIVE
Surround yourself with friends who speak positively and don’t speak about others behind their backs. This can be the biggest killer of a friendship. If they are talking about someone else then what is to stop them from talking about you behind your back? What is in your heart is what will pour out into others.
7. FRIENDS WHO KNOW THEIR IDENTITY
Surround yourself with friends who know that their identity is in Christ and not in others around them or believe what the media says you should be.
8. FRIENDS THAT CHEER YOU ON
Surround yourself with friends who don’t take you away from what you believe in most e.g God, church and youth even spending time with your family. If your friends can’t support you in what you believe in then it will be a struggle of trying to please them and God. You can not do both!
9. ARE YOU THAT KIND OF FRIEND?
last but definitely not least make sure that you are this kind of friend to others. Before you can find these friends you need to be that friend first!