Be present in the moment…. I am sure that is a phrase you have heard many times before, but I really want to touch on this today not because it’s something you have never heard before but because It has been something that I have actually battled with and I would like to think that I have overcome this in my life, in fact I do believe I have. It’s not to say that the struggle isn’t real or that I never get distracted with my past but there have been a few lessons, good and bad that I have learned that maybe could help you in this area should it be something you have faced or someone in your world might be facing.
Why would thinking about the past be so bad? Well it’s not, it’s not if it doesn’t become an obsession or something in which you attach a memory and then compare it with your current reality. You see that is what I used to do. I would think about something amazing that happened in my past and then that set the bar for any other experiences I might have in the future. If other experiences didn’t match up then I would be disappointed.
Living in the past makes you compare
For example lets take a relationship. You meet somebody in high school, they are amazing and you get on amazingly you share memories with this person and the time you spent together was incredible yet something happened wether it be bad timing or whatever, you and that person never ended up together. Now you have this memory and time goes on you meet other guys/ girls maybe even date them yet you are constantly comparing them to that amazing encounter you had with someone in the past. Your mind is still living in the past, you are not living in the moment with who ever you are currently with. This could be the case wether its a romantic relationship or even a friendship.
Maybe you got the job of your dreams, everything is going according to plan and your five-year goal is in motion BUT THEN something happens and you have to change your job. Now every other job you might get in the future is constantly being played up against what you once had that you thought was the perfect opportunity.
This ultimately could be anything but the point of it all is that there are dangers to letting your past define your future. Your past is a place of reference not a place of residence. Sure it can help you to realign something in your future but when you allow past situations and memories, wether they are good or bad determine how you will live out your future that’s when it becomes a problem and starts affecting small areas of your life that soon become who you are.
Living in the past distracts you
When you always wish you were somewhere else or with someone else, it breeds distraction. You always want to know what people are doing, where they going how they getting there, what they eating bla bla bla. With Social media being the number one reason for peoples distraction it’s very easy to get sucked in that trap of never being present in the moment.
The friends and family around you suffer because you are constantly chasing a memory or moment that already happened you forget to build memories with the ones who love you NOW!
Living in the past makes you discontent
When you constantly live in the past and it distracts you, you will slowly find that you are not content with what ever you have, with what you are doing or who you are with. Let your past make you better not bitter. Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want and just see what happens.
Let go of what was and have the faith in what will be. As humans we want it all, even if you call yourself a minimalist and you don’t think you need much, it’s our human nature to want to the best, only problem there is that there will always be someone richer, more good looking, more followers on Instagram more, more more. The secret to having it all is realizing that you already do.
When you are not content your heart is not at peace.
“ A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body” Proverbs 14:30
The good news is that you don’t have to live in your past forever! In fact you can start to use your past as apart of your testimony instead of a setback. How I have become better in my life at living more in the moment is:
1: I needed to become more intentional with my friendships and anyone else around me.
– Make effort with your friends, do one on one things with them. Make them feel valued.
2: I needed to realize what I already had in my hands.
– The life I have been given is a gift from God. I need to value it and the people in my world.
3: I had to realize that this will be a journey and I will fail along the way and that is ok.
– Putting pressure on yourself to change a thought process won’t work, give yourself some credit that you are trying and that you realize it is a problem.
” I wanted a perfect ending, Now I have learned the hard way that some poems don’t rhyme and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing and having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next “
– Gilda Radner
Photography: Chanelle Sanjit
CROP V TOP: Jota-Kena