A wise man once said you never graduate from learning and as I get older I am realising this statement to be more true as life goes on. I would love to say that I have it all figured out but that would just be the biggest lie. In fact there is so much I am still learning. In this new blog series I’d love to share with you a few things that I am still learning that also may help you on the journey.
To some peoples surprise I am a number 7 on the enneagram scale, Not your typical 7 where I am always the life of the party or always really loud or even always happy but the parts of 7 that really resonate with me are the fact that I have the innate ability to always see the bright side of life, to always see the best in people, to encourage and seek adventure in the mundane. Those are the good qualities I suppose that for a long time I never realised did not come naturally to everyone else around me. Which leads to the ‘not so great’ parts of a 7. Which are that I don’t understand why people are so mean or negative, Why do some people choose to be unhappy when there is so much to be thankful for.
Only to realise, which came with humbling myself a lot that everyone is different and in fact not everyone has a choice in how they feel because some people may be struggling with depression or anxiety. ( you see even there, a 7 has the ability to make themselves realise that there are many sides to a story and not just their side ) Look I know that I can’t speak on behalf of everyone who is a 7 but my experience is that sometimes I Just wish everyone thought like me haha and I get really affected by negativity, in fact if I feel like people are being mean or negative I just won’t be their friend its like my brain can’t compute haha (Im working on this).
Another not so great thing about being a 7 is this feeling I get and up until a few months ago I denied to myself I had and that was FOMO (fear of missing out) I never wanted to admit that I had it but I guess I do, You see my love language is quality time and so being with my friends and family is really all that makes me happy ( well that and food, shopping and traveling haha ) So if there is something that I didn’t get invited to or something I couldn’t attend I just feel left out and unloved. So in that sense the FOMO kicks in and I start feeling really lonely and to be frank just plain sorry for myself.
Which leads me to the very reason I titled the post “Taking a break does not mean I am missing out.” Often I find it hard for my mind to just rest, like truly rest. I find it hard for my body to just do nothing. So when we plan a holiday a few things go through my mind.
1: If I go on this holiday am I going to be missing out on things? (adventures, coffee dates or hangouts with friends.)
2: Will I loose out on any business opportunities as I won’t be checking my mails and then when I get back its too late and I have lost a deal to do business with someone.
3: when we are on holiday, who will we be with? What kind of things will we do? Not that I need it to be planned out but do we have a plan to have lots of spontaneous adventures haha. Sitting doing nothing is great for like an hour or so but then I want to live my holiday to the full and not miss out on doing cool things.
“So Lets together commit to taking more breaks”
— Tami Kolbe
These are just a few things that happen in this head on mine and I am not sure if any on you can relate but its pretty tiring. I titled this series “ thing I am STILL learning” because its just that I am still learning and I have not mastered it yet but maybe just maybe if you too are struggling with this we can help each other. Recently I just got back from a mini holiday where I started realising all these things about myself, which is precisely why I realised I don’t like doing nothing because doing nothing means you have to deal with your thoughts, doing nothing is confronting for your mind and it kinda forces you to change.
Id like to change this part of myself and maybe you do too? I want to get more used to doing nothing and not nothing in the sense of being lazy and watching tv all day, I mean being intentional to carve out time in the day or week to just sit and be, to be intentional to go on a guilt free holiday and not care about what things I will miss out on. I want to be able to be confident in who God has made me and celebrate my strengths and grow in my weaknesses. I think what I am learning is that being still, being alone, being quite helps me realise what I need to change, it helps me see who I really am (the good, bad and the ugly)
So Lets together commit to taking more breaks, Breaks from others opinions of us, breaks from our own negative self talk, breaks from the business of social media and even finding the beauty in being away from people only to find a better you because yes being around people is nice but if you don’t like being around yourself, that could be a problem haha because where ever you are there you will be. Stop ignoring yourself and love yourself, Take yourself out for coffee, go for a walk alone, pray more read more, listen more.