Do you sometimes go through seasons in life where things get so so bad that your perspective gets drowned out and you simply can’t remember any of the good times? I most definitely have and it has caused a lot of damage that through my lack of seeing things the way they should be, myself and people around me that I love have been hurt.
I am not sure what it is that you might be facing now or what you might face in the future but I feel it is my responsibility to share with you where I went wrong so that you don’t have to. Before I get into it I just want to say that the power of remembering can save your life, it did mine and by you reading this I hope it can change yours too.
1: Be intentional about remembering the good times with your friends, family or loved one by being in the moment with them. Put your phone away while you are speaking to them and really be in the moment. Sometimes we can take a moment for granted because we have this thought that those people will always be there so it does not really matter how we treat them of capture a memory.
2: Be intentional about writing it down. I used to journal all the time and for the last couple of years I have stopped, I guess life got busy or what ever and writing things down on paper became less popular. I can’t stress enough how writing something down helps you remember. So when something great has just happened with the one you love, write it down, take a picture do what ever you can to make that a day you never forget.
3: Stop holding grudges. Learn to let go when someone hurts you. It doesn’t mean don’t feel anything, when someone has hurt you that is real and it’s ok to feel hurt but its just as important to reconcile quickly afterwards. I have failed in this area many times, where I have let my feelings take over and In that moment of hurt, only my feelings matter. I would shut people out and then as time goes by I forget any of the good times I ever had with that person. Real love keeps no record of wrongs and in return always sees the best in people. Choosing to remember the good times instead of holding on to the bad is not good for anyone and only does more damage to future relationships and friendships.
4: Surround yourself with people who encourage you to remember. A few months ago my mentor and someone I look up to came to visit Cape Town from England and she said something to me that I will never forget that has inspired to write this post. She did not know what I was going through at the time but She just said to me she feels God is saying that I need to start remembering the good times instead of dwelling on the bad going on around me. She has no idea but that impacted me so much. What I also realised in that moment is that I did not have people in my world that were helping and encouraging me about the good, instead I had a people who were fueling the fire on to the bad situation. All that did for me was justify why I was feeling the way I did. What I needed to do was let people in that wanted to speak life over my circumstances. That day when my mentor said that a switch went on in my head and I decided that I want no negative input in my life. Choose people in your life that will help you remember the good times even when you can’t.
If the enemy is not able to trip you up with fear and worry he will try and alienate you from healthy relationships, because even the devil knows the power of two. Also REMEMBER that time you thought you would never survive, well you did and you can do it again!
Photos by: Jessica Combrink
Denim Pinafore: Country Road