There are these quotes that go – The most attractive thing you can wear is confidence. When you look good you feel good. You can’t scroll down your Instagram or Pinterest without seeing countless pictures of women/men that are gorgeous wearing designer clothes, If you are anything like me you might look at these pictures and think that you could never measure up to that. It will probably take my whole years salary to get all the amazing garments they have. Naturally your you tell yourself that to look that good I need to have what she/he has. I am only suggesting this because this is what I used to think. Constantly comparing myself to pictures I see on the internet wondering how I can look or feel the way they do.
Keeping up appearances can be very exhausting. Always looking over to your neighbor to see what they have only robs you from living that confident life that everyone so desires. Lets take this outfit I am wearing for example. I only paid for one thing that I am wearing and those are my shoes, which I got from Spree for R230. The Black skirt and Polar neck I got at a clothes swap that I hosted a couple of weeks ago, The coat I borrowed from a friend and the bag is from The Gumbi Room as a gift.
why am I telling you this? The reason that it is so important for you to know where I got my clothes is because It is not expensive designer clothes that make you good enough or important. It is not what is on the label that defines your style. The confidence thing comes from something deeper than what you wear. I love fashion and I love clothes and I even love the odd designer piece of clothing but I couldn’t care less if I am wearing the latest trend. My confidence comes from knowing who I am and knowing that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. The minute we let our clothes define our identity is the minute we get sucked into comparing ourselves on social media.
What do you think defines you? I would love to know in the comments section, lets chat about it. Below are a few things that define me and when I start feeling like I am comparing myself I turn to these things and they put me on track again.
1: I am made in the image of God
If I did not have this as a pillar to stand on if life I think that I would be very lost in this world where appearances are fast becoming a god in some sense. I do not look like I do in these pictures everyday, that just isn’t real life. week in week out I don’t wear makeup and my hair isn’t perfectly groomed. I certainly did not wakeup like this, but I know that I am made in Gods image and that beauty comes from the condition of my heart.
2: My identity is in God
When you know that your identity is not in material possessions you start to realize that you have nothing to prove. You can walk in a God confidence that is attractive to others. You could wear a brown paper bag and it would look good because you are confident while wearing it. I love getting things from thrifts stores because immediately it takes away that stigma that it needs to cost a lot for you to be ” slaying the game” or what ever kids are saying these days.
3: Its not about me
In a world where ” it is about you ” is what gets put out there for people to latch onto, it can be so easy to focus on yourself. when you focus on yourself, what can I get? how can I get it? your mindset becomes very small. I try my best ( and don’t always get it right ) to think outwardly, my life is made for so much for than what I look like. I am not saying that looking after yourself isn’t important but when it starts becoming an obsession that is where the danger lies.
So what could you take away from this? Well I want to encourage you and say that you are perfect just the way you are. Do not let what you can’t have make you feel worse about yourself, instead focus on what you do have and own it. Wear those Mr Price Jeans that you got for R150, rock that vintage top that you got at a thrift store for R30. Just be you, confidently. Stop assuming that others have it better than you, I can almost guarantee you that they are looking at you thinking the same thing.
I will leave you with this quote – Confidence is the ability to feel beautiful, without someone having to tell you.
Photography: Jessica Combrink