As I have grown older, I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible. There is a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt.
Do in your heart what you feel to be right,
for you will be criticized anyway.
That stuck with me and it has freed me in a lot of ways to make decisions in the past, whether it be small (What should I wear today?) or big (Should I still pursue this friendship?)
Life is full of decisions but don’t make yourself miserable in the quest to try and make everyone else happy. You see when you try to make others around you happy at the expense of your own happiness; it becomes a recipe for stress and frustration. You need to be yourself. Wouldn’t it be nice to see who wants you in their life because you are being your authentic self?
Ok, so this is the part where I get real and raw with you… By no means is this easy for me; in fact it’s probably the hardest thing I can do, but I will explain more about that in later blog posts in this series over the next 5 weeks.
I never thought that I would ever need to write a post like this because I have never been one to think that I care what people think. I have never been a suck up or teacher’s pet growing up. I have always had an attitude of well, “If you don’t like it, that’s your problem, not mine.” So how did I get stuck in a place where I found myself worrying about what THEY will say or what THEY will think? WHO ARE THEY???
We are all human and fall short of living a perfect and blameless life before God and others; the quicker we realize that, I think, the easier it is to come to terms with the fact that sometimes we want people to like us, we want people’s approval, we want people to pat us on the back saying, ‘well done good job’. I am not saying that those things are bad in anyway; encouragement and love from others are needed as well to build us up but if we live for people’s approval we will die from their rejection.
It was a few years ago I started feeling this need in me to make sure people around me were happy with how I lived my life, or if people were proud of the life choices I had made or were still to make. It was when I started living a life that people could see. When I started serving at church on my worship team all of a sudden people could see me. I was on a physical platform where my actions and the way I carried myself was very important.
Immediately what I did, said, thought on or off the platform held so much more weight than I realized. It made me feel very vulnerable and at times very alone. When I started my blog I also realized that what I said or what I wore mattered. I put a lot of pressure on myself and it became a little internal battle to be perfect just so that people would like me.
I hated that I had become this person. I felt like I lost myself. Even though years had gone by of me serving in church, portraying myself to be this confident person – to some extent I really was insecure and did not believe in myself. You see pleasing others comes down to the fact that we have lost our ability to take hold of what God has called us to, or how God sees us. I recently got this verse sent to me via WhatsApp and it really spoke to me:
“But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night and day difference he made for you – from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted.” – 1 Peter 2:9-10
Nothing we think, do, say or pretend to be is going to change God’s plan for us! What he has called me and you to do on this earth will never change. Sometimes it might take longer to get there because of decisions we make or it might happen differently to what we had in mind. However, at the end of the day, God is bigger than anything we think, decide, say or live out. His grace covers it all; every mistake, every bad thought or action! If I am honest with you I am saying all of this in faith as I am going through a lot right now and to believe what I am saying is tough, but I have to hold on to God’s word and not on how I see my current situation.
NEVER LET THE FEAR OF WHAT
OTHERS THINK DECIDE YOUR FUTURE!
SIDE SLIT GILET: Jota-Kena
CROP V TOP: Jota-Kena
Black High waisted denims: Mr Price
Photography by Chanelle Sanjit