As human beings, to live in isolation from one another can do so much more harm to us than good. We were created for one another, we were created to be in company of other men and women. This desire we have to be in company allows us we gravitate towards people and this is where our choice (because yes God gives us choice) can either create healthy friendships or unhealthy ones. Oh how we need more healthy friendship in the world!
In my high school years, friendship has always been an unhealthy dynamic in my life. I never felt good enough, pretty enough or cool enough, and because of this, the type of friendships that I maintained were ones based on the acceptance of others rather than to have genuine friendships that were encouraging and up lifting. I ended up getting disappointed and hurt a lot and honestly never learnt the true meaning of friendships.
As I grew older, I realized that I had a HUGE circle of friends, and it got difficult to maintain and manage individual friendships within the circle. But, at the same breath I had no one that I could turn to in a time of real need.
To be honest… it is still something I’m dealing with. As a Christian, your desire is to love and be there for everyone that comes across our path, but in reality, it just isn’t possible. You end up spreading yourself so thin amongst everyone, that in actual fact, you have no real impact in someone’s life.
If we are not careful, in this process, you could easily lose your identity and the purpose of true friendship.
By identifying a handful of people we can invest our full hearts and friendship into, it will have a ripple effect. Everyone will be fully invested in each other’s lives.
In any relationship, it’s about giving, giving selflessly and wholeheartedly, if these are the kinds of friendships we start creating, no one will ever be left feeling like they had no one to count on.
Now this is not an “eeny-meany-miny-mo” process, when selecting friends.. rather a natural selection of those you are drawn to in the different areas in your life. We need people in every sphere of our lives.
So I leave you with this question…
Who are YOUR friends?
Growing up can be hard sometimes. Growing up as a girl can be even tougher. Over the span of my life and sadly having many friendships fail, I feel like I have some insight into knowing how to choose the right friends. The friends that will take you forward in life, the friends that will cheer you on, the friends that you can do life with and not just for a short season.
1. Surround yourself with friends who will tell you the truth in love, even when it might be hard to hear. If your friends are not growing you or challenging you then you need to find friends that can.
2. Surround yourself with friends who are willing to have those deep conversations with you. Yes, there is a time for fun and laughter and just talking no sense but there are also times when we need to dig deep. Do your friends care enough to go deeper with you when life is not going too peachy?
3. Surround yourself with friends who have a vision for their own lives. If they see a purpose to their life, they will not let you give up when you want to because they see the potential on your life and that God as a purpose for you.
4. Surround yourself with friends that want to see you grow and flourish into being all that God has called you to be.
and last but definitely not least make sure that you are this kind of friend to others. Before you can find these friends you need to be that friend first!