One Sunday evening my mom was doing my hair for school the next day , as she was combing my hair , a massive piece of my hair just came out. As a 8-year-old girl, I was confused and thought that something was wrong with me.I thought why me? I was scared and very confused.
I later went to a doctor and he couldn’t identify the problem. He sent me to a specialist. The specialist said it was alopecia areata. AA is a condition that affects the hair follicles, usually the hair falls out in clumps , leaving a smooth patch of baldness. The patch was a massive one in the middle of my head at the back. The specialist provided me with pills that could help my hair grow, which it did. I was happy that it was over and I never have to go through that again but the hair falling out came back and all through my whole primary school career I was called permanent fader, or the boys would touch their heads whenever I walked past to indicate my fader. People would ask if it’s cancer or say I am a cancer patient. I came home crying daily , feeling like I never belonged and that I was weird.
It use to kill me not being able to make hair styles that everyone else could. I had to do my hair a certain way and that was it. I decided that I was going to put on a facade of being a loud confident girl that everyone will like. So I changed myself to hide the brokenness that I was feeling. I was lonely, I was hurt and very broken. I had my family but at times they didn’t understand. I was hiding behind something that I part was and wasn’t. I felt ugly , worthless and invaluable. I started looking for friendships in the cool crowd so I could be something and that I was known. I wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere.
I was a very broken girl . going to high school wasn’t any different , got bullied or misused and was treated like I wasn’t worth anything.
I still had the bald patch on my head and the more it didn’t heal the more I stressed out and more hair fell out. I was emotional .
I met Jesus in July of my first year at High school. It was one of the best decisions I have made. But I still didn’t feel better about myself. In gr11 I decided to see myself how God saw me and changed my whole life. I might have this condition and yes I know I will be asked about it but I will not pity about it. I started to love myself and know that I am worthy and precious. And that God can turn anything bad into something good.
I was doing work for a while until prelims came around , stress built up and my hair fell out and I went back into the cycle of pity but on vision Sunday ( a day in my church where our lead pastors, Ps Brian and Bobbie Houston at Hillsong Church cast vision into our lives as individuals and as a congregation ) got me out of my way of thinking and we watched a video presentation about a family who was also going through a struggle ( different to mine, but still a struggle )
I learnt it’s about what you do in the waiting. yes I will be healed but it’s what I do in the waiting that matters.
It doesn’t matter if you’re black, white, coloured ,if you have short hair, long hair, no hair or bald patches in your hair. you are beautiful you are loved, you matter. No matter what you’re beautiful you’re worthy and should never ever let anyone get you down. It took me a very long time to learn that, a heartbroken girl thinking she wasn’t worth anything feeling like you don’t belong anywhere that I wasn’t part of something but I am part of something I’m here stand up and bring awareness for every woman, child, man who have or has alopecia. You are worthy and that your story matters and it doesn’t matter if you have this condition you are so special and loved in God’s eyes you are not weird you are absolutely awesome you shouldn’t anyone get you down because of this condition be yourself, you are stand out. God made you to live a life of happiness full of joy and love.
do something in the waiting of your healing that is where God moves.